The End of Summer

Summer pretty lover, you have left too early

Summer Love 

Mornings are harder 

Now that a cold shiver is swaying in the wind rutting at my window 

The blanket laying heavy on my body

The chill air around my nose and check area is a taste of the bitter cold truth that is expecting me 

Summer is over 

Far away seem those memories of sleeping in my underwear with a linen cover levitating over my suntanned skin 

Sounds of birds chirping, flowers being watered and kids shouting at their mother ‘they would please let them jump into the canals 

Oh how I miss the summer! Before the sky turned gray and with it all the world. 

Where we used to dance in playful summer storms; the air around us dipped into a greenish yellow light and rain drops floating rather than falling from the sky - Now only muddy puddles are left and a wall of water is lying on the city. 

Can I go back for just one night? 

Then I would lay with you on the dry grass on top of our hill. You’re head centimetres away from mine, as the warm midnight air carries some of my hair strains over to your face. You lift your hand to explain the stars to me and as you do so, the little hairs on your arm brush over the little hairs on my arm and goosebumps spread all over my skin like the most beautiful rash I ever had. 

And just like that; moments become memories and memories fade away until they leave us with nothing much but melancholy. 

Oh how I wish I knew the value of those Moments before time let them pass

I would have held on to your hand just a little bit longer 

Before the last rays of sunlight 

On the last day of the Indian summer 

Are swallowed by the cold darkness of reality. A reality we tried to hide behind Aperol Spritz on a boat; behind sunshine and cigarettes and lines of cocaine on rooftop terraces.

A delusion so tempting, so real if we could just believe that as long as there is another beach party, another moonshine Picnic in the park, another boat ride, city trip or swim in the canal. 

As long as the sun is shining

I don’t need to admit that I don’t care about your bitcoin collection.

That your emerald coloured eyes are actually swamp shit green 

And that that clueless little smirk of yours might as-well be a sign of idiocy. 

I won’t be able to fill the silence between us with admiring gazes at summer happenings anymore and you will be left with my voice disrupting  movie night. 

My ice cold toes wiggling at your calves at night and the annoying habit of mine to always, yes goddam always have the last word. 

So I did what I had to do 

To preserve the memory of our summer together. 

And before the last bumble bees rest their tiny wings and the smell of salt and honey slowly vanishes into thin air; I retreated back into the snail house I was in, before summer's Promise of an easy Love lured me out and made me believe I could feel this way forever. 

Light and bubbly, happy and carefree, just another little soul swimming in the waters of a life I never chose; but happy, yes blissful that I found company. Even just for a little while. 

Yes mornings are harder now that you are gone. 

The memories I hold of you are bitter sweet reminders of the mortality of a love that had so much potential.

 But it was better this way; that’s what I tell myself. 

A summer love is not strong enough to withstand the crispy autumn winds. 

It will break with the first hail storm bashing from the sky and without someone to pick it up and dry it off in front of the fireplace, it will turn colder and harder until we don’t even remember how we used to lay on the roof all night and watch the sun rise and set. 

Arms and legs and thoughts intertwined; warm and fuzzy and light and free. 

I’ll leave you in the summer as I change with the seasons. It’s better that way! Our love was not cut out for anything but summer. And we all know that summer cannot last forever.

My Love

My love she is short lasting 

But she is warm and soft and kind

Her golden hair splashes on her sandy skin In soft but untamed waves, 

And with every move she makes they dance in the buzzing morning air

Up and down, back and forth, brushing the freckles on her shoulders 

My love I have to share her 

For everybody wants to have her near

She makes them feel alive

When they look into the darkest blue of her eyes,

Deep like the water in the middle of the lake 

Where fishers steer their boats on early Sunday mornings. 

I have once fallen so hard in love with her, 

And have since been falling, 

Thriving in her presence 

And shrinking in her absence

Cannot live if I must miss the touch of her skin 

Oh her soft, flawless skin, it has the color of freshly baked croissants 

The ones I used to get from the bakery every morning during school vacation 

When my love comes around, 

All the flowers bloom, all the birds sing, 

She warms the world, 

And touches, even the darkest of hearts

For when she smiles, the clouds on the horizon disappear 

Make way for her beauty 

As she walks - no she dances through the steamy air on hot asphalt streets

My love - she will always be my love,  

Though she never sticks around

makes me miss her all year long

Miss the smells of coconuts and lavender 

Of salt and sweat and sunscreen 

Makes me miss the sound of children’s laughter 

Of birds chirping and waves breaking and ice cream dripping from the cone 

But most of all, she makes me miss myself 

See, my love she is magic 

For she makes my sadness disappear 

And with it goes the worries, and the weight of all my fears 

She lifts me up and twirls me around until I am dizzy with the thought

That maybe, yes maybe 

This summer will be the beginning of the rest of my life 

For this Love I will be enough

The Three Loves of your Life

The first love on earth that you may find 

She is not soft and neither kind 

But she will swallow the whole of you 

From the tip of your hair to the sole of your shoe 

You will hurt and cry and suffer

Wishing for your heart to be a little tougher 

For she will tear your soul in two

And there will be nothing you can do 

Oh you will miss her when she’s gone 

But, my dear, nothing can be done 

No trick, no cure, no-one will be of aid 

Against the excruciating heartache 

But despite the certainty that you, 

Have let Love make of you a fool 

One day you will wake up 

And your deep deep love will stop 

For this love burned so wild and bright, 

It will not last another night 

And as quick as this young love was made, 

All memory of it will fade. 

The second love you find out there, 

Will be less tragic but more fair,

Your fear will warn you: “stay aware” 

From what happened in the previous affaire.

You will have grown and think you know 

What is real and what is show

But don’t be foolish once again, 

Not every kind smile comes from a friend.

This love will last a little longer 

But not because it is much stronger 

It’s more the fault of hopeful lovers,

Who hide their doubts between the covers.

And just like that, the years might pass 

While you sit on your house of glass 

Growing silent more and more, 

Until you ask yourself: what for? 

That is how the second love will go, 

Because there was no more room to grow,

With many words and tears it ends, 

And no, I tried, but we cannot stay friends.

When the third Love comes around, 

No more patience can be found

And you won’t search, not this one, too! 

No worries, dear, this love will find you! 

She will sneak into your wounded soul, 

And give it warmth and love to grow

This love is patient, so she will stay

When all the others go away.

 

And when you’re healed and you are ready, 

She will stand by you strong and steady, 

Will hold you up when you feel down 

And kiss away that steady frown.

 

It might not feel like love at first 

Your heart won’t burn and it won't burst 

You will feel as if you found a friend 

One that sticks round until the end.

 

With patience and gentle care 

This love will grow tall and strong and fair 

It will make you deeply crave for more 

And question, what all the other loves were for? 

But my darling, one thing is for sure, 

You weren’t ready for this love before

The fear of falling

We are so careful 

With our little hearts 

So pathetically afraid to feel the pain of deprived love

Obsessed with having a safety net and another one 

To catch us, just in case we fall 

We build walls around our hearts

And fences around those walls 

With little spikes on top

Just to ensure that, whoever makes it past those measures

Will not just turn around and leave again

So afraid of falling, we never even try to fly

The fear of pain has become so predominant,

We are willingly sacrifice any oh so small chance of happiness 

I refuse to be part of this charade

Refuse to give up the tickling of the butterflies in my stomach when your glance catches mine and you cannot contain the little twitch in the corner of your mouth 

Refuse to miss the lightly given forehead kisses and the goosebumps spreading from your finger brushing over my upper arm. 

We have so much to be afraid of 

Let us not be afraid of love 

Yes, Dear, we might fall, we might crash and burn and cry and hurt 

But I guarantee you, before that we will be so high 

I don’t need to build those walls, 

You will crush them anyways 

And when you do, promise me to love me good 

Love me so that I will forever hold those memories 

As friends or as enemies

Devastate me baby, I will be alright! 

I’d rather die a thousand deaths, in the name of your love 

Then to disappear through the side door. 

Love me, hurt me, break me, let me bleed out! 

Hold me, grab me, move through me with all you are 

I can take it, love

I can take love! 

This is what I live for baby 

This is why I love!